The Temptation To Compare

Reading Time: 8 minutes

LAST MONTH I ATTENDED an amazing youth convention. We were staying in a Sunday school room in the church and when we walked out of our room we were in the foyer of the church. One night, I had a friend curl my hair and I was wearing one of my favorite dresses. I felt so pretty and confident.

Then I walked out of the room.

There were probably a hundred plus people in that church foyer. All of a sudden I felt so awful. The room was full of beautiful girls. Girls that wore a size 4 and had the most perfect hair. My own hair seemed to just be a frizzy looking mess compared to theirs. My favorite dress felt like the worst choice among these seemingly fashionistas who had nice expensive clothes that were totally the latest trends. Their perfect hair and perfect smiles made me want to run back to my room and stay put for the rest of the night. I tried to shake the feeling.

I went to some of my friends and tried to strike up a conversation. They were all busy in there own conversations with their own friends. Maybe their friends were better than me… Did anyone like me at all? My spirit crumbled so much I was ready to cry.

A little while ago I had a conversation with a friend and I mentioned a famous Christian youtuber. I was talking about how I love her and her encouraging message. My friend got a sad look in her eyes as she confessed that she no longer watched her youtube videos because they made her feel so bad about herself. I was confused… that girl focused on confidence in Christ and true beauty. How could that message make anyone feel bad? She told me that every time she saw them, she looked at their beauty and then thought she could never look like that, ever.

girl looking in broken mirrorMy friend and I both fell into a trap that I believe is one of the biggest things the enemy tempts us with… Comparison. I wouldn’t say that comparison itself is a sin, but I know it doesn’t please God and can lead to committing sin. A dear friend and mentor says that two of Satan’s biggest tactics are making us feel insecure and inferior. That is so true! Both situations I told you about are perfect examples.

I was at that convention to receive spiritual encouragement and to praise Jesus. Satan didn’t like that at all! Those Christian role models were all about promoting self worth yet my friend could only see how “perfect” they were compared to her. I know that when I give in to the temptation to compare, I end up completely focusing on myself and all of my flaws. I zone out and worry about how I look all of the time. So in a world that constantly points out all of our insecurities, how do we combat these lies of Satan? Is it possible to not give into the temptation of self-hate and comparison?

Let me just encourage you, and say that with God’s help it is possible.

In a world that constantly points out all of our insecurities, how do we combat these lies of Satan? Is it possible to not give into the temptation of self-hate and comparison?

For me comparison is still something I’m learning to deal with. Can I be really honest? Some days Satan tells me so many lies and I want to believe them. I think I will never be good enough when compared to some people. I think that I could never be skinny enough, pretty enough, or cute enough.

If we go beyond skin deep, I’ll never be nice enough, good enough, or loving enough. I talk too loud and laugh too weird. I’m not very compassionate or tactful. I have a weird personality that seems to not fit. Actually when I take a personality test, I’m an ambivert, neither an introvert or an extrovert.

One thing I have learned is it’s okay if I’m not enough. That’s the whole reason God sent his son, because we are not enough. We can never be good enough for Heaven without God’s grace. I’m learning that when Satan comes and says, “Compared to them you will never be good enough,” to respond with, “I don’t have to be.”

I’m learning that God created me as me for a reason. If I laugh too loud or have frizzy hair, it doesn’t matter in light of eternity. What matters is that I focus on Jesus and His love for me. It’s important I focus too on others and showing them the love of Jesus.

If you are struggling with comparing yourself to others, I just want to encourage you that you are not alone. So many people struggle with feelings of comparison.

I also want to say that you can overcome it! Find some Bible verses that really speak to you and say them to yourself when Satan whispers lies in your ear. Surround yourself with true Christians and true friends who will encourage you!

Something else I think we can all do to help each other stop comparing is being careful what we post on social media. I see so many girls post selfies with filters, editing, or tons of make-up. I challenge you to be real and honest with your friends. I’m not saying it’s wrong to post selfies, but I think it can be done with a wrong attitude and purpose.

I cringe when I see someone post a very edited selfie followed by tons of comments and likes. People will say how beautiful the girl is and how she is so perfect. (I am guilty of this too.) If you look at the ratio of comments about her personality and her love for God compared to ones about her physical appearance, the latter will be way higher! Aim to encourage your friends walk with God and her God- given talents, not just her outward beauty. I love the verse in the Bible (1 Samuel 16:7) where God tells Samuel that he doesn’t look on the outward appearance but at the heart. We need to look at people how God looks at them, at their hearts.

So if you feel like you’re just not good enough compared to everyone else, remember these things:

  1. You don’t have to be enough! God working through your life will make you more than enough.
  2. God looks at the heart! How is your heart compared to His? That’s the real standard we need to compare ourselves to.

Keep encouraged! We are all in this together!

LAST MONTH I ATTENDED an amazing youth convention. We were staying in a Sunday school room in the church and when we walked out of our room we were in the foyer of the church. One night, I had a friend curl my hair and I was wearing one of my favorite dresses. I felt so pretty and confident.

Then I walked out of the room.

There were probably a hundred plus people in that church foyer. All of a sudden I felt so awful. The room was full of beautiful girls. Girls that wore a size 4 and had the most perfect hair. My own hair seemed to just be a frizzy looking mess compared to theirs. My favorite dress felt like the worst choice among these seemingly fashionistas who had nice expensive clothes that were totally the latest trends. Their perfect hair and perfect smiles made me want to run back to my room and stay put for the rest of the night. I tried to shake the feeling.

I went to some of my friends and tried to strike up a conversation. They were all busy in there own conversations with their own friends. Maybe their friends were better than me… Did anyone like me at all? My spirit crumbled so much I was ready to cry.

A little while ago I had a conversation with a friend and I mentioned a famous Christian youtuber. I was talking about how I love her and her encouraging message. My friend got a sad look in her eyes as she confessed that she no longer watched her youtube videos because they made her feel so bad about herself. I was confused… that girl focused on confidence in Christ and true beauty. How could that message make anyone feel bad? She told me that every time she saw them, she looked at their beauty and then thought she could never look like that, ever.

girl looking in broken mirrorMy friend and I both fell into a trap that I believe is one of the biggest things the enemy tempts us with… Comparison. I wouldn’t say that comparison itself is a sin, but I know it doesn’t please God and can lead to committing sin. A dear friend and mentor says that two of Satan’s biggest tactics are making us feel insecure and inferior. That is so true! Both situations I told you about are perfect examples.

I was at that convention to receive spiritual encouragement and to praise Jesus. Satan didn’t like that at all! Those Christian role models were all about promoting self worth yet my friend could only see how “perfect” they were compared to her. I know that when I give in to the temptation to compare, I end up completely focusing on myself and all of my flaws. I zone out and worry about how I look all of the time. So in a world that constantly points out all of our insecurities, how do we combat these lies of Satan? Is it possible to not give into the temptation of self-hate and comparison?

Let me just encourage you, and say that with God’s help it is possible.

In a world that constantly points out all of our insecurities, how do we combat these lies of Satan? Is it possible to not give into the temptation of self-hate and comparison?

For me comparison is still something I’m learning to deal with. Can I be really honest? Someday Satan tells me so many lies and I want to believe them. I think I will never be good enough when compared to some people. I think that I could never be skinny enough, pretty enough, or cute enough.

If we go beyond skin deep, I’ll never be nice enough, good enough, or loving enough. I talk too loud and laugh too weird. I’m not very compassionate or tactful. I have a weird personality that seems to not fit. Actually when I take a personality test, I’m an ambivert, neither an introvert or an extrovert.

One thing I have learned is it’s okay if I’m not enough. That’s the whole reason God sent his son, because we are not enough. We can never be good enough for Heaven without God’s grace. I’m learning that when Satan comes and says, “Compared to them you will never be good enough,” to respond with, “I don’t have to be.”

I’m learning that God created me as me for a reason. If I laugh too loud or have frizzy hair, it doesn’t matter in light of eternity. What matters is that I focus on Jesus and His love for me. It’s important I focus too on others and showing them the love of Jesus.

If you are struggling with comparing yourself to others, I just want to encourage you that you are not alone. So many people struggle with feelings of comparison.

I also want to say that you can overcome it! Find some Bible verses that really speak to you and say them to yourself when Satan whispers lies in your ear. Surround yourself with true Christians and true friends who will encourage you!

Something else I think we can all do to help each other stop comparing is being careful what we post on social media. I see so many girls post selfies with filters, editing, or tons of make-up. I challenge you to be real and honest with your friends. I’m not saying it’s wrong to post selfies, but I think it can be done with a wrong attitude and purpose.

I cringe when I see someone post a very edited selfie followed by tons of comments and likes. People will say how beautiful the girl is and how she is so perfect. (I am guilty of this too.) If you look at the ratio of comments about her personality and her love for God compared to ones about her physical appearance, the latter will be way higher! Aim to encourage your friends walk with God and her God- given talents, not just her outward beauty. I love the verse in the Bible (1 Samuel 16:7) where God tells Samuel that he doesn’t look on the outward appearance but at the heart. We need to look at people how God looks at them, at their hearts.

So if you feel like you’re just not good enough compared to everyone else, remember these things:

  1. You don’t have to be enough! God working through your life will make you more than enough.
  2. God looks at the heart! How is your heart compared to His? That’s the real standard we need to compare ourselves to.

Keep encouraged! We are all in this together!

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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. I resonate with this post a lot. ? Thanks for recognizing that many people struggle with this.

  2. This is great. I’ve definitely been there, and it’s nice to realise that I’m not the only one.

  3. We are fearfully and wonderfully made!

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